


Waiting

by hopeforrain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Casual Sex, Coming Out, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:03:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9254252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeforrain/pseuds/hopeforrain
Summary: Seamus and Blaise both have feelings. They find a way to avoid those feelings, until Seamus doesn't want to anymore.





	

“Hey, Dean, you wanna find somewhere to study for that Charms test? I’ve really been having issues with making everything blow up, and I could use your help.”

“You know I would, Seamus, but I told Ginny I’d study with her tonight. Sorry.” To his credit, Dean really did look sorry, but Seamus wasn’t sure how much he cared.

“Fine, I’ll go explode cabinets by myself,” he said, leaving Gryffindor Tower. As he left, he muttered under his breath, “You don’t even have any of the same homework. Why are you studying with her?”

He was a bit distracted as he wandered the halls, brooding over the idea of Dean and Ginny “studying” together. He was so distracted that he didn’t even notice the boy he was walking towards until they literally ran into each other.

Seamus stumbled back briefly, apologetic. “I’m so sorry, I totally wasn’t looking where I was going,” he said, meeting the other student’s eyes.

“I was,” Blaise Zabini said, smirking a little. “I just didn’t want to be the first one to turn away,” with a glance up and down Seamus’ body. Seamus found himself flushing a little bit. “The question is, Seamus Finnigan, are you the type to turn away?”

Seamus was a bit baffled by this situation. He didn’t remember Blaise Zabini ever even speaking to him, much less expressing interest in him like this. Still, a challenge was a challenge, and Blaise was rather beautiful.

Seamus answered Blaise’s question by stepping forward into his space. “What do you think?”

Blaise smirked again and grabbed Seamus by his partially undone tie, dragging him into the nearest classroom.

 

Several minutes later, they were both buttoning up pants and shirts, tying ties around their necks with differing degrees of neatness. Pretty soon, Blaise looked like he was ready to go have a meeting with the headmaster, and Seamus looked like he had just, well…

“So, that was fun,” Seamus said, self-consciously rubbing a fresh mark on his neck.

Blaise approached him and ran his hand over that mark. “That it was. What do you say we do it again sometime?,” he said, his voice deep and lust-filled, as if he still wasn’t satisfied.

Seamus smiled and tilted his head back. “I wouldn’t say no to running into you again.”

Blaise latched his mouth onto the spot on Seamus’ neck, darkening the mark. “So you don’t forget,” he said when he pulled back.

 

Seamus wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Dean about Blaise. It’s not that he didn’t think Dean would be supportive. Dean always supported him and would continue to always support him, even in repeated casual sex with a Slytherin. But Seamus wasn’t sure he wanted to explain why.

_ Hey, Dean, so, I’ve started having sex with Blaise Zabini. _

_ Okay, cool. Why him? Do you like him? _

_ Not particularly, but when I can’t see his face, I can pretend he’s you. _

Yeah, no. So instead, when Dean came back from studying with Ginny and commented on the bruise on Seamus’ neck, he replied, “A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

Dean chuckled. “No, but a gentleman does let his gentleman friend suck giant hickeys into his neck in plain sight, piquing the interest of his dearest, best friend.”

Seamus smirked. “I never said the other guy was a gentleman.”

 

A few weeks later, Seamus was pinned against a wall, panting heavily, and Dean’s name escaped his lips. Blaise didn’t seem to notice or care and continued his ministrations.

It was only later, when they were doing up buttons and straightening out hair, that Blaise mentioned it. “So, Dean? That’s Dean Thomas, yeah?”

Seamus averted his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry, I really am. I know it seems like I’m just using you, because, you know, you look a bit like him, and I’m really sorry that I said his name, but I have been enjoying this, you know I have.” Seamus wanted to babble on more, but Blaise put a quieting hand over his mouth.

“It’s okay. I’m using you, too.”

Seamus was a bit confused. “Who?”

Blaise smiled sadly. “Draco Malfoy. Who else?”

“Ah. Skinny, pale, blonde kid. I get it.”

“But it’s more than that,” Blaise protested. “You remind me of him in so many ways. You’ve got a sharp wit, don’t back down from a challenge, and you won’t take no for an answer. Ever. You’re both fiery, in your own ways. You’re a lot alike, you and Draco. And if I can’t have him, I might as well have the next best thing.”

Seamus wasn’t sure whether he should be flattered or offended. After a bit of thought, he decided flattered was the better option, since he was using Blaise just as much, if not more than Blaise was using him. Blaise at least had non-physical reasons why he chose Seamus over another guy, which was more than Seamus could say for himself.

 

A few months after Blaise and Seamus’ arrangement started, Dean asked Seamus to take a walk with him. Once they got outside the castle, they walked in silence for a few moments. Then Dean chuckled a little.

“I don’t know why I’m nervous about this. I know this isn’t going to go badly or anything. You’re you, and I’m me, and I shouldn’t be nervous, right?”

“I’d love to reassure you here, mate, but you’ve got to fill me in as to what’s going on, because I’m really at a loss. If you want to tell me you’re breaking up with Ginny or you’re getting a pet cat, that’ll probably be fine. If you want to tell me you’ve killed a man, I might react a tad less favorably. But just a tad. I’ll still help you run from the government.”

Dean chuckled. “Thanks, Shay, I appreciate that. But no murder here. I just…” He took a deep breath. “I’m bi. And I just wanted you to know that.”

“Okay. That’s cool,” Seamus said. “You’re still my best mate, nothing’s changed there. But hey, if you ever want to talk about guys, let me know. I’m your man.” Seamus grinned and added, “And if you think you’re going to need to talk about the bees and the bees…” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Dean swatted him on the arm, and Seamus took off running, hoping to avoid a bigger wrestling match. Unfortunately for him, Dean had much longer legs, and caught up to him in a few strides. Dean flung Seamus over his shoulder and carried his shrieking friend back to the castle.

 

Blaise was putting his clothes on when Seamus opened his eyes, coming out of a post-coital bliss. He looked up from his place on the floor at the taller boy pulling a shirt on.

“Dean told me he’s bi, you know. Think there’s a possibility I have a chance with him after all.”

Blaise scoffed at that. “He’s still got a girl, you know. He may be bent, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop going with her.”

“I know, but…” Seamus was suddenly feeling very exposed, both physically and emotionally. “I just want him to see me.”

“I know, Finn,” Blaise said, kneeling in front of Seamus. Blaise had taken to calling him Finn after Seamus had put ‘Shay’ off-limits, saying it was Dean’s name for him. “But you and I, we have to admit that we’ve got no chance.” Blaise kissed him briefly on the lips. “See you soon,” he said, getting up and leaving.

 

“They broke up!” Seamus exclaimed, bursting into their usual meeting place. “They broke up, and he’s bi, and he’s single, and I’m going to see if there’s a chance for me!”

Blaise frowned. “What does that mean for us?”

“I’m sorry, Blaise, but this was only ever a substitute for him. You know that, it’s the same thing for you with Draco. This was only ever a next best thing. And I might have the best thing now!”

“But what if you don’t, Finn?” Blaise asked. “What if he doesn’t feel the same, and you’ve given up something good here for something that doesn’t even work out?”

“That’s a possibility, but I’m going to take that risk. I’m a Gryffindor, Blaise. I live on the edge. I take the chance. And I’m going for this one, like it or not.”

Blaise looked like he didn’t know exactly what to do with that. After a moment, he said stiffly, “Fine. But don’t come crying to me when he doesn’t want you.” And he turned and walked out.

Seamus wanted to feel hurt by that. He wanted to feel some kind of indication that he had cared for Blaise, just enough for him leaving to sting. It didn’t. He wondered briefly if that made him a bad person before he headed back towards Gryffindor Tower.

 

He decided not to say anything to Dean right away. There ought to be a moratorium on romantic activity after a rough break-up. And Dean had definitely gone through a rough break-up. Before Ginny had broken up with him, Seamus didn’t think he’d ever seen his best friend cry. And it wasn’t like the break-up had turned him into a sobbing, blubbering mess. But there were several nights when Seamus woke up to hear sniffling coming from the next bed over.

After about a month, the sniffling had stopped, and Dean stopped taking secret passageways to avoid running into Ginny, and he’d started drawing things other than her again. Seamus decided it was time to make his move.

“Dean, can we talk?” Seamus was leaning against the headboard of his bed, and Dean was sitting by the window of their otherwise deserted dorm room.

“Are you okay?” Dean said, looking up from his drawing. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you sound this serious.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Seamus said, throwing Dean his typical grin. “I just wanted to say something, about Ginny.” Dean nodded for him to continue. “She wasn’t right for you. She didn’t really know you, and she didn’t appreciate the little things about who you are. And you deserve someone who knows and appreciates you. And if you’re ever interested, I know and appreciate you.”

“Are you saying–”

“I will be here for you. And if you’re not ready, that’s fine. If you don’t want me, that’s fine, too. But I will wait.” Seamus stood and left the room, not wanting to see the stunned expression on Dean’s face.

 

When he came back to the dorm that night, Dean was already asleep. When they woke up, Dean didn’t mention it. So Seamus didn’t mention it. And for the next few weeks, the lived like they had for the last six years, as best friends.

Then Dumbledore died. And Seamus’ mother came to take him home. She kept him home for the entire summer.

When Seamus showed up at Kings Cross in September, he didn’t expect to see Dean there. He knew that wouldn’t happen. He also didn’t expect a fifth year he’d never spoken to to hand him a letter, saying, “My next door neighbor told me to give this to you.”

 

_ Dear Seamus, _

_ I’ve given this to Owen, my neighbor, in hopes that he’d get it to you. I wish I could say this in person, but there wasn’t time. And I knew if I saw you, I wouldn’t do what I had to. And I have to, to protect both of us. _

_ I’m going on the run. I don’t know if my dad was a wizard or not, but either way, I have no proof that I’m not a muggleborn. And I’d kind of like to not die. I don’t know where I’m going to be when you read this. Please don’t respond. If your owl did find me, it might give me away. I can’t risk that. _

_ You told me last year that you would wait for me. And I’m sorry I wasn’t ready when you said that. We could have had months together. But I’m ready now. And if you don’t mind waiting just a little longer, I’d like to kiss you when the war is over. _

_ That’s all I have to say. Stay safe, Shay. I’ll see you when this is all done. _

_ Love, _

_ Dean _

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated :)


End file.
